Mark & Marie

The glimmer of her ring dances in his eyes. Shades of love, truth, and faith paint the past with hopeful tears and even brighter years to come. Her pain finds comfort in his arms. His heart takes rest beneath her smile. With one step and one breath at a time, the lives of two become one. One for each other, intertwined with a strand of heaven. Holding on to the glow of a mysterious light. The light that shines from above, drawing them closer and closer together. Three become one. One soulful song sung with folded hands, graceful words, and passionate ears. Forever listening and forever heard. I try to sing along, try to join their dance. Their blood runs through my veins, flows through my heart, carries me through life. I'm nothing without them. They teach me how to live, how to love, how to leave all conditions behind, embracing the beauty of creation, the beauty that lives within us all.

So here's to thirty years and thirty more. May we all experience the same joy and happiness you've found. May we continue to encourage, as you encourage us. You're the reason why I've never felt completely alone, lost, or abandoned. I find myself in you, Mark and Marie, Mom and Dad. I love you more than you'll ever know and more than I could ever express. Here's to you, and here's to the blessing of life and sacrifice you offer to me, my brother, your family, and all of your friends. I hope and pray that I can offer the same to you.

Faces Frame the Light

Breathe into my lungs, a song. A soft and gentle word. A phrase that stays inside my heart, exhaling my every thought. Excitement beneath the sound. The whisper, the air around.

The silhouettes of souls searching for a sign. A sigh. A certain kind of confident shy, covering the eyes that pierce my mind. See straight through the distance, I need to try.

So keep me there. Keep me near, cause far is not so far at all, and faces frame the light that sleeps under the stars when clouds retain the flashes from the sky.

I'm safe here.

Safer than I've ever been before.

Ode to Tragedy

It's time to put pen to paper, paint to canvas. The wind is blowing me west, and there's a storm on the horizon. This attraction to disposition can't last, cause I smoked that cigarette way too fast. To feel light. To feel right. Swirling around inside my head. Stop spinning, reaching for something too far to reach. From here to there. So far. So close. So incredibly out of control. Why? The answer is right in front of me. A shadow casting roles for rolling myself back into a ball of confusion. The reflection is true. An image of despair. Despising the past, afraid of the now. How? How can I be there if I'm not even here? Three words. But not the three I need. Or are they? The lack of something not yet in it's place. Carry me back to where I was before. Before the storm that left me stranded on an island of regret. Three years ago this May. Set the clock straight. It's crooked, hanging on the wall. About to fall, about to crack, about to call this what it is. My tragedy is not yours. And your tragedy is not mine. At least for now. In time I hope to see the wind change it's direction. Drawing the air out from my lungs, breathing new life into this lonely heart. One beat at a time. One step in the right direction. Two. That's what it takes. Two steps in perfect time with each other. Guiding each other. Away from this hell. Away from the spell that puts me down. Deep underground. Disappearing. Infinite. With no turning back. Only a search for a way out. A way back into the heart of the boy I once was and will be again, but with the grace to make it new. Take it slow. Watch, listen, accept.

Like the Song Says

It's proof that some things in life can come true. The words that one hums throughout the day. Those little flashes of pain and romance, adventure and loss. Emotionally pounding. Refusing to sound the same. Always new. Always clear. Always real. Like the song says. It's all you need. All you see and hear and feel. So repeat the words. Repeat the rhythm. Move your feet and move on to a better place. Reach out for a lonely face, the saddest eyes that wait for tears to be wiped away. It may be cold, but soon enough the summer sun will shadow tragedy. Tracing stories of you and me. It won't be long. I'm on my way. What once was still is. Just like the songs says.

Closer is the key.

The lack of sight and sound send me spinning off into the distance. So out of touch. So out of reach.

Closer is the key.

But there is no the door. No handle. No lock to hold me back. So I proceed.

Closer is the key.

I'm terrorizing. Agonizing. For what? For how long? I don't miss misery, but miss the warmth of something real. Something new and always true. Honest and kind. Vulnerable to the point of death to self so life can live as two.

Closer is the key.

All I have is this feeling. Never why or how or when to move, when to leap. The elevation is astounding, and I'm afraid of heights. Afraid of living out my dreams.

Closer is the key.

Despite the fear, inspired ears are deaf. Deaf to all that fails. The trust I lost in myself. My heart. My mind. I miss you more than anything right now.

Closer is the key.

Leave and Be Left Behind

If all else fails, turn. If all else fails, run. If all else fails, hide. If what you seek becomes what you'll never find, leave and be left behind. For lack of pride and better words, bitter tongues taste truthful hearts. So spit back out the trust. The rust is in my eye. These righteous wrongs are wrongful thefts, stealing hearts to find some rest. I pray for peace beneath my chest. The empty room I fill with test after test after test. Full of pain. Confusing decay. Would I, could I, will I ever stay.

Memoirs of a Zombie

Sometimes I feel like a zombie.
Rising from the grave.
The yard.
Walking with a limp.
Unaware of my disposition.
My distraction.
Dead, but somehow still alive.
Pale as all hell.
Rings around my eyes.
Staggering.
I want to be loved.
Searching for a way to be normal again.
But what does normal even mean?
What song does normal sing?
I'm still here.
Despite the color of my hair.
I crawl for days.
Sleep for years.
Hope to hear the call.
The telephone ring.
The words.
The love they bring.
I'm a mess.
Staking my claim for a better life.
A better way.
With you.
As for now I'll step back.
Back into my grave.