Dawn and Dusk

These eyes have been closed for way too long. The sun seems way too bright. Unprepared to face the day, unprepared to face the night. Stranded somewhere in between my dawn and your dusk. Searching for reasons to dry out and rust. But last I will and last I'll stay, waiting for answers to turn and say. I'll stop, look up, and face the sun. Open my eyes, hold still, become. A steadier stance for you to stand. For me to allow, for you to land.

Woven by Silence

These are the songs I'd like sung, the words I'd like read. The poems to be heard and thoughts to be said. This bed seems so warm, away from the darkness. Laying here for a while, an eternal while. So still, so honest. So pour me a drink, a second to say, a bleeding heart bandage beginning to fray. The wound is now fatal, debating the past. Deceiving the current, the present, the last. Drunk on the poets who drink the divine. Swallowing fragments of distant design. And still I lay here, so still, so honest. Hard shell of a room, a dark and low nest. Woven by silence and laced with decay. The birthplace of now will hatch, then fly away. There's no understanding, no time machine fix. No solution, no ending, no candle, no wick. But might there be fire, a glisten, a flame. Burning with passion, then out with the same. Still will I lay, with honest refrain. A verse from a vow, a puddle from rain. A flood from a river, homeless in my home. My feet need no cover, they forever are cold. But still I lay down, eyes slower to squint. I'm striking goodbyes with a trustworthy flint. The songs that I sing, the words that I read. A poem to hear and thoughts to be seen.

Stream of Conscious

When thoughts become words.
Drifting carefully into the air.
The world makes room for me.
When time loses the battle against my will.
My mind and my soul.
The world makes room for me.
When the stream of consciousness flows.
Lives, breathes, cries.
The world makes room for me.
Daring to become the thought itself.
Daring to swim alongside my heart.
Closing my eyes to see myself.
My emotion, my passion.
The truth that surrounds me.
Swirling inside my head.
From one second to the next.
From days to weeks and seasons that change.
I will change too.
Holding the hands of my past.
Dancing to the sound of expression.
And forever moving with the rhythm of love.

Whenever Wherever

Distance crawls back into bed. Waits, sleeps, dreams. Timing is effort and romance is effortless. So take ease, take care, and take comfort in what you can. Everything is everyday, and everyday is all we have. Not now, or then, or things that were. I'm drifting, swaying, swimming with the current. The stream of consciousness that moves us all. Don't fight it, don't stall, don't hurry, don't worry at all. I'm here, always will be. Always care. Always listen. Always share. Always take the time that needs to stare, needs to be patient and needs to know not how, but where. When is not the answer. It pulls us further away from truth. So wherever you are, whenever you are, I will always be there.

Mark & Marie

The glimmer of her ring dances in his eyes. Shades of love, truth, and faith paint the past with hopeful tears and even brighter years to come. Her pain finds comfort in his arms. His heart takes rest beneath her smile. With one step and one breath at a time, the lives of two become one. One for each other, intertwined with a strand of heaven. Holding on to the glow of a mysterious light. The light that shines from above, drawing them closer and closer together. Three become one. One soulful song sung with folded hands, graceful words, and passionate ears. Forever listening and forever heard. I try to sing along, try to join their dance. Their blood runs through my veins, flows through my heart, carries me through life. I'm nothing without them. They teach me how to live, how to love, how to leave all conditions behind, embracing the beauty of creation, the beauty that lives within us all.

So here's to thirty years and thirty more. May we all experience the same joy and happiness you've found. May we continue to encourage, as you encourage us. You're the reason why I've never felt completely alone, lost, or abandoned. I find myself in you, Mark and Marie, Mom and Dad. I love you more than you'll ever know and more than I could ever express. Here's to you, and here's to the blessing of life and sacrifice you offer to me, my brother, your family, and all of your friends. I hope and pray that I can offer the same to you.

Faces Frame the Light

Breathe into my lungs, a song. A soft and gentle word. A phrase that stays inside my heart, exhaling my every thought. Excitement beneath the sound. The whisper, the air around.

The silhouettes of souls searching for a sign. A sigh. A certain kind of confident shy, covering the eyes that pierce my mind. See straight through the distance, I need to try.

So keep me there. Keep me near, cause far is not so far at all, and faces frame the light that sleeps under the stars when clouds retain the flashes from the sky.

I'm safe here.

Safer than I've ever been before.

Ode to Tragedy

It's time to put pen to paper, paint to canvas. The wind is blowing me west, and there's a storm on the horizon. This attraction to disposition can't last, cause I smoked that cigarette way too fast. To feel light. To feel right. Swirling around inside my head. Stop spinning, reaching for something too far to reach. From here to there. So far. So close. So incredibly out of control. Why? The answer is right in front of me. A shadow casting roles for rolling myself back into a ball of confusion. The reflection is true. An image of despair. Despising the past, afraid of the now. How? How can I be there if I'm not even here? Three words. But not the three I need. Or are they? The lack of something not yet in it's place. Carry me back to where I was before. Before the storm that left me stranded on an island of regret. Three years ago this May. Set the clock straight. It's crooked, hanging on the wall. About to fall, about to crack, about to call this what it is. My tragedy is not yours. And your tragedy is not mine. At least for now. In time I hope to see the wind change it's direction. Drawing the air out from my lungs, breathing new life into this lonely heart. One beat at a time. One step in the right direction. Two. That's what it takes. Two steps in perfect time with each other. Guiding each other. Away from this hell. Away from the spell that puts me down. Deep underground. Disappearing. Infinite. With no turning back. Only a search for a way out. A way back into the heart of the boy I once was and will be again, but with the grace to make it new. Take it slow. Watch, listen, accept.

Like the Song Says

It's proof that some things in life can come true. The words that one hums throughout the day. Those little flashes of pain and romance, adventure and loss. Emotionally pounding. Refusing to sound the same. Always new. Always clear. Always real. Like the song says. It's all you need. All you see and hear and feel. So repeat the words. Repeat the rhythm. Move your feet and move on to a better place. Reach out for a lonely face, the saddest eyes that wait for tears to be wiped away. It may be cold, but soon enough the summer sun will shadow tragedy. Tracing stories of you and me. It won't be long. I'm on my way. What once was still is. Just like the songs says.

Closer is the key.

The lack of sight and sound send me spinning off into the distance. So out of touch. So out of reach.

Closer is the key.

But there is no the door. No handle. No lock to hold me back. So I proceed.

Closer is the key.

I'm terrorizing. Agonizing. For what? For how long? I don't miss misery, but miss the warmth of something real. Something new and always true. Honest and kind. Vulnerable to the point of death to self so life can live as two.

Closer is the key.

All I have is this feeling. Never why or how or when to move, when to leap. The elevation is astounding, and I'm afraid of heights. Afraid of living out my dreams.

Closer is the key.

Despite the fear, inspired ears are deaf. Deaf to all that fails. The trust I lost in myself. My heart. My mind. I miss you more than anything right now.

Closer is the key.

Leave and Be Left Behind

If all else fails, turn. If all else fails, run. If all else fails, hide. If what you seek becomes what you'll never find, leave and be left behind. For lack of pride and better words, bitter tongues taste truthful hearts. So spit back out the trust. The rust is in my eye. These righteous wrongs are wrongful thefts, stealing hearts to find some rest. I pray for peace beneath my chest. The empty room I fill with test after test after test. Full of pain. Confusing decay. Would I, could I, will I ever stay.

Memoirs of a Zombie

Sometimes I feel like a zombie.
Rising from the grave.
The yard.
Walking with a limp.
Unaware of my disposition.
My distraction.
Dead, but somehow still alive.
Pale as all hell.
Rings around my eyes.
Staggering.
I want to be loved.
Searching for a way to be normal again.
But what does normal even mean?
What song does normal sing?
I'm still here.
Despite the color of my hair.
I crawl for days.
Sleep for years.
Hope to hear the call.
The telephone ring.
The words.
The love they bring.
I'm a mess.
Staking my claim for a better life.
A better way.
With you.
As for now I'll step back.
Back into my grave.

A Midnight Confession

Off the hinge onto the floor.
The shallow water floats my door.
Drifting out into the sea.
This house becomes a harmony.
The simple sound of tiny towns.
That string together ups and downs.
Motioning for mourning less.
And midnight more till we confess.

More Than Anything

Whether it be a subway station or the country music hall of fame...

Fate Doesn't Cast a Shadow

These shadows are tall. Stretching out across my mind. The sun is low, a sunset. But why not a sunrise? If I turn around to face the light, will tonight become the passing day? Set to reverse and then to replay. My heart jerks the chord out from the wall, and still, it shines. It lives and breathes and burns with love. Far from gone, but too close to call. So I shout. I yell. And give the finger to fate. I won't except an excuse for giving up. Cause I'm still here, and I'm still smiling. These tears will never sink my dreams.

A Blissful Eye

Shake and crumble.
The road we split in two.
When what I thought was not to come.
To see, or hear, or follow through.
It seemed as if this building would stand.
So wide, with room for more.
Foundation frames the face that tries.
To open up the door.
So crack the window.
See the light.
The world will shake.
But not tonight.
For what was lost will lose my sight.
Behind the eye of blissful bright.

Two Plus None is Three

Beauty sits beneath the sky.
And hides behind a key.
A conversation we can fly.
A ghost to cross the sea.
I hope you read, to hear, to feel.
A closer call of pain.
The love who sends a seventh seal.
Of sun from snow to rain.
So set it free and send a sound.
I'm still for who you are.
A heart so big it shakes the ground.
So near so sure so far.
For fourteen days and fourteen nights.
Till two plus none is three.
A distant word could be my sight.
So dark, so still, so green.
So flick it on and watch it fade.
From where you were before.
The light you shine becomes a star.
A moment meant for more.

Paint a Smile

And so it sets. The limitless end that swings back into a start. The artist moves her brush, paints a smile. Enigmatic pieces put the picture back on display. Anonymous at times, but proud to take a back seat. I'm so near, so not. So much more in tune with all the little tricks of trade. Tearful wishes for a better life. All you wanted was to be great. You always were. Always will be. A change of scenery whispered secrets into your ear. Reaching for your heart. Sinking back into his chair. Composing wonder out of cool, crisp thin air. After all, what you pretend is what you become.

Hanging on a Billfold

I tried to make this home a house. Building the best that I can be. But sure enough, the tragedy trend displays the day with an overly emotional decay. Slowly dwindling into the hole from where it came. Back to darkness. Back to nothing. Could this be the note I've dreaded for so long? Could this be the plea for one more chance? One more day? Assurance came and went. I'm lingering. Hanging on a billfold. There's nothing left, except maybe a few short days. Does it really mean anything at all? I ponder poetically as if to ease the pain. This exterior has tried for so long to hold back the many reasons to give it all away. It's cracking. I'm cracking. Dried out. Withering without a name.

Purpose and Play

And so we sit beneath the canopy of night.
The glow of memory growing so bright.
So unmistakably true and calm.
The dawn sheds the fear that fell too short.
Too many times before.
Before I left the home that gave me my name.
And so I wave, taking my chances with the sun.
After all, these days are only numbers without a way.
Without purpose or play.
Still, my smile never felt so big.
Holding up the eyes that close so tight.
Holding back the thoughts that just might break free.
Free from mindless wandering.
Fearful pondering.
Nearness is the house of being.

Rhythm Resets

The rhythm sits, breathes, pulses.
Pursues the mind, misleading misery.
Identity consumes.
False at times, but ever so clear.
Resetting itself to the click of a clock.
Grace of days will shine.
Time will be my resolve.
Keep it in, hold it down.
Skim the surface of language for life.
Meaning melts that pond of ice.